Dear Chelsea
by HauntedVampyre
Summary: Vaughn and Chelsea have left school and about to go into sixth form. Vaughn writes her a letter, telling her what he couldn't say in person about their friendship and the feelings he has hidden all that time. I don't own anything.


Dear Chelsea,

I don't know where to begin. After five years of friendship we are now going our separate ways, eh? They always said nothing would tear us apart. Leaving you was probably the hardest thing ever. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life. Even though you were crying as well, you laughed when you saw I was actually showing I could be emotional.

There's something I want you to know and I just don't know how to put it into words.

I have never been very lucky in the friends department. Even when I was in Primary school, my best friend left after a year. It was a long time before I found another friend like that. I was bullied at school, for reasons I don't even know.

I made friends outside of school, of course, but then my next best friend ended up moving cross-country. It felt like most others ended up drifting away.

You stayed. You didn't move house, or make friends with someone else. You stayed with me. Even when we fell out last year I felt sure that that was the end for us. But we made up. I was so happy we didn't fall out forever.

I have been keeping some feelings locked away inside me. But now I want you to know everything.

I'm glad you were my friend. I'm glad I met you; glad I got to know you. I don't know what I would have become without you. You may not know you did it but you helped me gain self confidence. Before we were friends I was terrified of meeting new people. I was always shy of strangers, scared they would hurt me like they did when I was a child. But when I got to know you I also got to know that not everyone would hurt me and I didn't have to shy away. I suddenly found myself able to open up to people and before I knew it you knew all about me and about my past. You didn't laugh at me though. You comforted me.

Remember when we were messing about in drama and were pretending to be different characters and we suddenly realised that everyone was watching? Funny times, looking back. It was embarrassing at first though. We were like the drama people. We would always be in a group together. It was fun.

You were always more recognised than me. I guess because I always tend to hold back. You could act the clown until the cows came home, but I was always the serious one. People would laugh with you. You could walk into a room and everyone would be your friend by morning break. I would walk into a room and everyone would back away. They would laugh at the way I dressed, the way I looked. They would laugh at me full stop. But they would laugh with you. You have never been bullied. You can't even imagine what it's like. I hope you never know what it's like. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially you.

You were always the most confident and the most people-friendly. I will kill you if you tell anyone this but I have always wished I had those traits. I don't like being shy and repelling everyone who comes near. Yes I do prefer my own company, but it does get lonely after a while.

I loved it when we used to sit together in every lesson. And we would always have our little inside jokes and whenever we told them to each other at break time the others would just look confused. I loved it most when one of us would get stuck on homework and would go to the others house in the hope of getting some help. We would always end up having a rave and the homework would be sitting in a corner, forgotten. When you came round my house to revise, we managed to revise for about ten minutes before giving up.

I think the best sleepover we have had was when you invited me to yours and it was a school night. You promised your parents and I promised Mirabelle we would be sensible and go to bed early. What happened? We had a rave and ended up going to bed at two o'clock in the morning. Of course, that was the end of sleepovers on a school night!

You've been the best friend I've ever had. But I want to tell you everything I've been keeping locked away in all these years.

I guess it started when we fell out and you sat with Natalie and I would sneak off somewhere on my own. When we made up, Natalie still sat with us. But she always seemed a bit clingy and I couldn't help wishing she would go away. Don't get me wrong, she did make me laugh. However, more often than not, I wished it was just us again.

I don't know how it happened but it suddenly seemed like it was the Chelsea and Natalie show. I guess girls would understand girls better than boys would. But still…

You always had other friends beside me, of course you did. You were just a likeable person. But you would always put me above all the others and I loved it. I was always happy to have met you and proud to call you my friend. Even when people said things about you being so friendly with me, you ignored them and stayed with me. I was always so grateful for that.

It just seemed to happen overnight. One day it was Chelsea and Vaughn, and Natalie. Then the next day it was like Chelsea and Natalie, then Vaughn. We were still friends, you would never want to leave either of us out of something, but I felt like something had changed. You would invite Natalie to your house and it was always you two having your little inside jokes. I didn't do anything about it. What could I have done? I already know how it feels to fall out with you and I don't go near any path that may end in that happening again. I guess it was the thought of sixth form that kept me going.

We both planned to stay on and do drama at school but when drama wasn't running, we had no choice but to go our separate ways. I was counting on those two years where it could be Vaughn-and-Chelsea again but then that vision shattered.

I can't help feeling jealous that you and Natalie are going to sixth forms that are literally five minutes away. You will need to take the bus for half an hour to visit me!

I want you to know this Chelsea. You are probably reading this letter thinking that I'm the one that's clingy and overprotective and jealous. Well, maybe I am. But you have to know, you have been the best friend I have ever had in my entire life and I didn't want to lose you.

I may be losing you by writing this letter. You may be thinking that you are sick of me and you don't want to see me again. Or you are freaked out that I have been thinking this. Maybe you don't care either way and you are happy that I have opened up to you as I always seemed to find that hard, even with you. But no matter how you feel, I wanted you to know this.

I want you to write back to me. Even to just tell me to go away and never speak to you again. I want to know that you have received this letter and you have acknowledged it. But more than that, I want to know what you think of me now. If you still want to be my friend. Because when I read this back I feel that I sound self-centred and jealous and clingy. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't want any more.

No matter what you think of me, I will always think of you as the bestest friend I have ever had. I will miss you more than anything else in the world and it will be so hard going to my new school knowing that you won't be beside me.

Thank you for reading, and please reply to me.

Love Vaughn

x


End file.
